if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
