i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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