I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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