she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
