i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
