don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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