Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
