The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
