Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
