i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Randomize
