Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
she told me i tasted like america
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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