Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize