that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
