Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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