just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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