Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
