I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
