That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
