If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
