dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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