just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
