I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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