i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
from now on my penis is your penis
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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