Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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