Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
