Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
