Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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