she was so not down for the gang bang
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
