we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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