I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I just googled if crying burns calories
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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