just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
