Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
it's like iHOP with fire
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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