I'm eating all of the evidence.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
