Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
