my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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