Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
