just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
