Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
