If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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