Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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