You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Randomize
