So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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