you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
