Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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