I swear she didn't look like that last week.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
