I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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