I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
