I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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