I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
