Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I wish I could teleport
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
