your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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