He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
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