i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
