4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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