i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
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You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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