Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
