Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
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