when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
