they need to just BURY HIM!
this beer tastes like vomit already
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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