You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
My bed smells like the plague
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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