Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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