Define "chronic" masturbator.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Who died my cat blue again?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
