if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
