Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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