i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
