:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
