And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
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One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize