Just mADE A PArabola og urine
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
