if you like me you must not know who I am
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I would fuck him just for his dog
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
